In 1914, 6 men were sent to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria. One of them threw a bomb and missed, so he immediately tried to kill himself by taking a cyanide pill and jumping in the river. Because the pill only made him vomit and the river was just 5 inches deep, that guy managed to fail  at murder, assassination, and two suicide attempts all in one day.  (, , )

This carving of a penis was recently found etched into Hadrian’s Wall in England. Further investigation revealed the carving itself was actually made by a Roman soldier 1800 years ago, proving that, despite the human race’s continual evolution over the past 2 thousand years, some things really never do change.  (, )